Monday, July 09, 2007

Some statements perfect for a t-shirt

Well well, Prague is all beautiful but the TP available was certainly conceived by a follower of Sade with a liking for bleeding arse-holes. I never understood why Alieg was so reticent to buy cheap TP in the UK. Therefore, when I asked the reason and he told me he had been traumatised by the TP of the Soviet Union my foremost assumption was that he exaggerated that memory of his childhood. Well, he clearly didn't.
Traditional TP
Czech Republic preserves the high tradition of sanding your butt instead of wiping it. Czech TP almost makes you wonder if newspaper could be softer. El Chivito mentioned that the awful TP was worth of the fifth world, not even the third one. So anyway, we started thinking we should have tees saying "I survived the Czech TP", and later in the conversation we decided it was much better to have one saying "I survived the 3rd world".
Czech TP
Whenever we found stuff often belonging to the thirdest of the worlds we shouted "Welcome to the third world" or better "Bienvenido al tercer mundo". Somehow I do not think it is offensive (but well I find not many things offensive). The third world possess this reality not even the twilight zone can depict. We are bizarrely real.

A came up with a the picture for a tee, not for myself, but for the general latin people who hate tipping. I hate stingy people. Well I don't really hate them, I hate sharing the bill with them because I feel forced to overcompensate their stinginess. I believe it is an influence of Alieg, and possibly Eanna but with deep roots in my childhood. My daddy, who is stingy as hell and hates me calling him daddy, always gave decent tips in restaurants because service is important for him and if he likes the food and the service he surely comes back to the place. I recognise it is useful to tip decently if you want to become a regular; they tend to remember you are not a reckless bastard who cares nothing about their jobs. Thing is, I never care in the past if other people tipped or not, although I tried to encourage it. But now, things have changed, for bad. Call me pretentious but I can't look at the waiter's face if there is not a decent tip after he gave a good service. I feel cheaper than a 40-something one-legged saggy crack-whore.

Something I noticed when I went to Ireland were the eurocents on the floor no one bother to collect. Eanna told me one of his friends explained to him that in Spain that didn't happen, because people saved even those filthy cents. I have nothing against looking after the pennies, but when this surpasses to other levels of expenditure it annoys me. I only avoid tipping when the service is shit. Otherwise, I always give a tip above the 10% but no more than 15%. I see no point on eating in a restaurant if you cannot pay the tip! Also, my gosh! English method is to divide the bill in even parts. It may not seem fair if you only ate a leaf salad whereas some other ate two lobsters, but if you clarify you ate less everyone will be happy if you pay only for your salad. The systems works quite well when you share the table with the same people several times; eventually you get even and it is all so painless and comfy. Not time wasted guessing what the doodles of the waiter are.

Well, I thank Murphy I had been taking yoga lessons because I did have to exercise my patience in Prague and breath deep and long after the first restaurant bill arrived at our table. We lost a good half an hour jittering about who was paying what and the (lack of) tip. My little pout-and wrinkly-forehead scene was worthy, we had less problems to pay next time. I even nagged El Chivito to be less stingy for once. He didn't appreciate my efforts :(

1 comment:

Alice said...

que salvajada ese TP!!!

sobre las propinas... mmmhhh yo preferiria no dejar propina... mi papa es japones y ellos no dejan propina por que un buen servicio es mandatorio y no tiene por que recompensarse... claro que si a los meseros les pagaran decentemente se podria seguir esa regla... pero en parte es cierto que por hacer bien mi trabajo nadie me da 15% extra... de todos modos dejo propina para que a la proxima no le escupan a mi plato...